Breaks are important. Break ups are important. It’s a season to learn about yourself, and the relationship itself from a distant perspective. These cycles of intimacy are easy to spot. The need to know one still cares. To know the love is still there…. Kind of an old pattern we get ourselves stuck in…. But, I’ve learned from the tantric perspective, that actually it is her, the feminine within each of us man or woman, who is the main protagonist in the story of our human life. She’s powerful and very intense. And her greatest fear is the act of abandonment. She doesn’t want to be forgotten. To be alone. To be silenced. To be in darkness. She loves the spotlight. She’s the artist. The creator. But without him, she is nothing. Her visions are just dreams. Her aspirations are just ideas. She needs him to carry on the action. In our bodies to the right, he is the masculine. He’s the light of consciousness who lets her have it all. He provides a safe container for her release. He makes it happen for her.
I know myself well. I got this very big, very expressive, very magnificent feminine to my left. She’s quite the goddess. My masculine to the right has a pretty big job to keep her happy. For the most part, my inner marriage works well. They communicate, she asks, he delivers. However, on the outside, the mirror doesn’t match. I, as the feminine embodiment, am creating these beautiful scenarios of possible experiences. She loves it! She’s so happy thinking and imagining all that can be. But he doesn’t deliver. He fails. He doesn’t answer to her needs. He doesn’t do the things which would make her happy. And she hates it. She feels abandoned. And that’s when she grows to resent him. To dislike him. She begins a journey of freedom.
She’s the expressive one. She is the creator in me. Before, I was aware of the tantric marriage within. She was already birthed and quite the lady to take care of. He tried to keep her happy and close. But emotions got the best of both sides. And her dreams were scarcely delivered by him… She goes wild with ideas for something beautiful. He hesitates. He doesn’t allow her to experience. He keeps blocking her potential. And that’s everything opposite of whom she wants to partner with. He sways back in and out because … well because insecurities can be paralyzing.
So, where is she now? Where has she traveled to? Freedom. She had to make a choice. She chose to be free. Yes, choices! A birthright. To be free to live the way one desires. I never was imprisoned, yet the outer relationship controlled so much of me. So, instead, I journeyed within. Reunited my own inner marriage and feel the most exhilarating sense of self-love. And that’s freedom. My soul, spirit and heart … and even the ego are all in full agreement about that!